Death on the stage

Blood has been spilled for the last time at The Hollow. The curtain came down on a five-week season at Hamilton Town Hall last night. With the season now wrapped up, I can reveal I was the victim of the piece. I was a thoroughly nasty piece of goods who was impatient and snappy with his wife. He had a mistress and had his way with an ex who wandered casually back into his life. I coined it our love square. So much more interesting than a love triangle! So my character's wife picked up a gun and popped off a round. I had a bag of blood taped to my chest which I had to squeeze, forcing blood down my shirt - and running into my underwear if I was not careful. Too much information, I realise! Anyway, the blood ended up on the wall, door, curtain, rug and probably even on the back of the sofa! Then I had to fall at the front of the stage and gurgle before popping off to the other side. The repeated falls hurt my knee, making it all sore and festy. I know, too much information again! But the audience just loved the scene, with the blood, the death rattle and the gurgling. It might have hurt, but I do it gladly for my art ... and the audience response...

Breaking it down

Everyone seems to know the saying break a leg. But why say that, rather than, maybe, get an ear infection? Well, the story I have heard (and I don't know if it's right) is this: When actors were taking to the stage at the Globe Theatre in London for Shakespeare's plays, the best performer on the day would be lifted onto the shoulders of random members of the crowd to be cheered and generally celebrated. One day, an actor fell and broke his leg. Hence, telling an actor to break a leg is encouraging him or her to be the best performer on the day and risk the whole shoulder, fall, break thing. That's my story and I am sticking to it...

Cast, crew and curtains

Curtains are a part of every stage. Without them, there is no "curtains up" to start a theatre production or "curtain call" for the actors to receive their well-deserved accolades from the audience (you can tell I am an actor!). But what happens when curtains decide to get in on the act and want to take over as a star of the show? I'll tell you what happens. Actors are upstaged! This should NEVER happen! But it did last weekend, during curtain calls for The Hollow. The first incident involved a mishap in which the curtain would not close after we had taken our bows. The cast was left standing on stage, looking at each other and wondering if it was time to just walk off while the audience burst out laughing. The second incident, it was the reverse. The cast was still taking bows and had not yet stepped back when the curtains closed. Hugh Taylor and Paulo Araujo were entirely entangled in the curtains. It was the biggest reaction we got from the audience all night! Curtains, know your place. I know they are inanimate objects, but still...

Dressed for success

Quick costume changes are a pain. I have a very quick change in The Hollow. I have four pages of text in which to change from a day suit to an evening suit. It might sound like a lot of time. Trust me, it's not. As soon as I disappear from stage and am walking away backstage, I am unbuttoning my shirt and loosening my tie. Assistant stage manager Marion has my clothes on a rack ready to go. She helps me with my buttons, bowtie and shoes while I mess around with pants and jacket. Then it's a run back to make my entrance. During the final rehearsal, I made my entrance about 30 seconds too late and was not wearing shoes or bowtie. With Marion's help I have been on time since then! Phew! I will tell you about the worst costume change I have witnessed another time. When I have more time...

Doing lines, but not drugs

People have been asking me how I learn lines for my plays. This is probably the most boring part of being an actor - and therefore probably my most boring blog to date. I promise to keep it short. I learned the lesson from Glen Male (what a ham, but a fun guy to have backstage!) and still use it today. I read the lines on the first page and go over them again and again until I have them word perfect. I use a business card so I can't look ahead. Then I add a second page and make sure I know the lines word perfect on both pages. Then I add a third and make sure I have it word perfect on all three pages. Considering I have whole passages in The Hollow, it's surprising I ever got all the lines down...

Hollow bloodletting

Blood is an essential ingredient in my latest stage production The Hollow. It's an Agatha Christie whodunnit and one of the characters is shot. So, yes, without blood it would not work. I won't give away who dies in a pool of their own blood. Let's just say this: The actor who plays the victim could not get the plastic pouch with the blood to burst at the right moment during the final rehearsal. The first time it worked was during the preview night. Perhaps a little too much blood was used. It was all over the stage and the actor's clothes, right down to the shoes. During the opening night performance less blood was in the pouch. But it seemed to really squirt everywhere. Resullt? The stage was sticky for the remainder of the play. Even during the curtain call someone's shoe stuck to the blood on the floor! Warning: use blood sparingly. Spill it sparingly too...

Can we build it?

Get involved in amateur theatre and it's not all glitz and glamour. Take it from me. That's the reason I got involved, of course! But the past two weekends I have been getting my hards dirty helping to build the set at Hamilton Town Hall for The Hollow. And what was the hardest thing, do you think? No, not the skirting boards, which I think I measured, cut and installed quite nicely (thanks for the help, Mike!). Not hanging the curtains. Or even telling everyone else what I thought of their work (thumbs up to Tash!). Instead it was the job that should have taken five minutes and not raised a sweat. Yep, hanging those blasted decorative plates. Every time we tried to drive those little nails into the walls, the board would wobble and we were getting nowhere. Then we opted for a drill, but the material stretched on the wall (to look like wallpaper) kept getting knotted up in the thread of the screw. We ended up getting those pesky plates up, but our sweat and swearing was not all glitz and glamour. So when you come and see the show (every Friday and Saturday in November at Racecourse Rd, Hamilton) look at the plates and be impressed. I got my hands dirty for them...

Changing horses mid-stream

It is down to a matter of days until we take to the stage at Hamilton Town Hall for the Agatha Christie whodunnit The Hollow. I was originally to play prim and proper butlet Gudgeon, but have since swapped to a more major role as house guest and ladiesman Dr John Cristow. Am I the murderer, do I get killed or am I one of the innocent bystanders? Find out at one of our 12 performances. We are on stage every Friday and Saturday night in November and we also have three weekend matinees.

Goodbye, nerdy Neville

The life of an actor is a fun one. You get to be someone else for a while and forget your own cares. I just finished my fifth play, called Unoriginal Sin. My character had some of the best lines and certainly found himself in some tight spots, all of which made for fun theatre. I am going to miss Neville the nerdy librarian. But I am going straight into rehearsals for another play. This time it is an Agatha Christie whodunit called The Hollow. Come and check it out at Hamilton in November.